Embodied Relating : (R)evolution
We are living in a time of massive societal and collective change. Any real change at the collective level needs to also be occurring on the individual level or elese we are simply going to recreate the systems of harm we are trying to break down.
The words of Audre Lorde have rung through my mind for years now, and gave words to a general feeling of discomfort I had in social justice circles a decade and more ago:
For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. Racism and homophobia are real conditions of all our lives in this place and time. I urge each one of us here to reach down into that deep place of knowledge inside herself and touch that terror and loathing of any difference that lives here. See whose face it wears. Then the personal as the political can begin to illuminate all our choices.
In 2016, before the election, I began pulling away from the various social justice circles I had been a part of. The details of the reasons don’t matter, but their over all theme does : The use of the “master’s tools” of shame, threats of ostracization, even bullying to try to get people who were already trying to do social justice work to do it the “right” way or the way whichever leader deemed as “right.” I witnessed people lash out from their own pain and trauma and inflict on their friends and comrades. I witnessed people react from fear of doing it “wrong”. I saw abuse and harm being inflicted over and over in the name of “progress” and “change.” After years of seeing this and not having words for it, I was finally introduced to Audre Lord and her words hit me right in the heart.
I was witnessing people who deeply wanted change, who believed in human rights and would do almost anything to defend them, utilizing the tools of the oppressors to keep folks “inline”. I was witnessing humans knowing what was happening was wrong but who did not have the resources to do any different, and some even didn’t even know or believe another way of being in relationship was possible.
My work as a therapist has always been about being in relationship differently. I chose to change careers and become a therapist because I wanted to help others bein in relationship differently. I began my own somatic and nervous system work, before changing careers, because I wanted a different relationship with my first born than my mother had with me. I wanted to do motherhood differently and all I knew was what I didn’t want to do, but no idea what to do in its place.
I believe many of us have been here, and many more are now here : that place of knowing we have harmful ways of being with others but not having any idea how to do or be different. The resources may not be available, or maybe it’s our own fear of facing our demons that has prevented us from this deeper inner work.
The inner work is vital, however. Not in place of the outer work we need to do. Not before we do any of the outer work that needs doing. In parallel, simultaneously, looking at our own inner pain as we see the pain in the world and do what we can to aleviate it and co-create a new world where this kind of pain eventually no longer exists.
It is not fast work. I began my own somatic practice sixteen years ago. I am still learning, expanding, uncovering new layers. And I am not the same person I was sixteen years ago, and the way I approach and am in relationships is vastly different. In fact the way I am in relationship now I never dreamed was possible sixteen years ago (for a long list of reasons). My relationships are more nurturing, nourishing, fulfilling, and loving than they were sixteen, ten, even five years ago. My close relationships are more intimate and vulnerable and have a deeper feeling of safeness and aliveness.
How we show up in our relationships, all our relationships, will determine if we are able to create a new (ancient) way of being in community or if we will repeat the harm we are trying to end. How we treat our lovers, children, neighbors, grocery clerks, delivery persons all matters. How we treat the animals in our lives - domesticated and wild- matters. How we treat the plants, trees, fungi, dirt, and rocks matters. How we treat our homes, our offices, our schools, matters. How we treat our bodies, our minds, our wounded parts, our souls matters. When we cause harm, are disrespectful, neglectful, dismissive - we are utilizing the tools of oppression. When we are abusive, shaming, bullying - we are utilizing the tools of oppression. When we lash out, manipulate, project our pain outward - we are utilizing the tools of oppression.
When our nervous systems are flooded, when our minds and souls are overwhelmed, when our bodies are worked past exhaustion we tend to repeat patterns of harm. Wounded animals try to attack other beings who try to get close. Humans do the same thing, except our wounds aren’t readily visible to the naked eye. We unwittingly repeat the harm done to us and pass it on. In part because we don’t know how to do different, and in part because we have so little energy to do the work to do different.
Doing our inner work, finding ways to reset and regulate our nervous systems, looking honestly at our own pain, clearly seeing the ways our social indoctrination has lead us astray, are all acts of (r)evolution. Acts of rebellion. Necessary acts to co-create a world where children are safe, where there are no hierarchies, where we celebrate both our interdependence and autonony.
Embodied Relating : (R)evolution is one place you can begin or continue this work. This group is an opportunity to learn new ways of being present to our emotions and their physiological sensations, to talk about challenges we may be facing in the ways we are currently in relationship, to break down the ways we have been indoctrinated to cause harm, to consider and practice new ways of being in relationship with each other and ourselves. We’ll learn more about boundaries, accountability, and focusing on our own actions and inactions instead of projecting onto others.
The details:
We will meet every other week, on Thursdays at 10:30am Pacific time for approximately 60-90 minutes.
On the weeks we don’t meet I will provide exercises, reflection questions, and some “psycho education” about our nervous systems, trauma, systems theory and practice, and our various relationships that we can then discuss the following week (much of the material will be updated from my Trauma Informed Embodiment groups of years past).
We will be gathered for nine months, beginning March 19 (Spring Equinox eve, the first day of the new astrological year) and ending December 20, 2026 (Solstice Eve).
Energetic exchange: I want this group to be accessible to anyone who wants to take part, and as a single mother who works for herself, I do need to charge for this. The suggested fee is $85 per person per month. Once enough people sign up, paying the full suggested fee, a sliding scale and other reciprocity options will open for those who need them. Payments can be made through Venmo, Zelle, or Substack subscription (see below)
The online space will be on my old Shadow Medicine substack, which I have renamed for our work together. You can set up monthly payment with that account or if you choose a different payment method, I will gift you a paid subscription for the duration of the group. Payments are expected by the 20th of each month, non-payment means removal from the group unless we have made other arrangements.
Group calls will likely be on Zoom, however I am looking for another platform.
Why (R)evolution and not revolution? Because I believe we are in the midst of both a revolution and an evolution, collectively and indivdually. Because, in my opinion, they go hand in hand and we can’t have one without the other. Because words are powerful and (r)evolution speaks that power to me. Because, why not?
I have watched countless organizations fumble and fail due to interpersonal conflicts, ultimately caused by unprocessed personal traumas and the trauma of our social indoctrination. I have watched folks who have the biggest, bravest hearts I’ve ever seen cause harm because of their own fear, overwhelm, and frustration. I have watched my own relationships struggle and disintegrate, in part due to my own neglect, projections, and harmful behaviors. All the pain from these conflicts and situations ripples out into the world, and I believe it is vital for us to find our ways to instead have love, nurturance, and healing ripple out instead.
Are you interested in doing the next level of inner work to bring about the change we all want to be and see in the world? DM me here and we’ll get the ball rolling! Alternatively, you can directly sign up by going here and getting a paid subscription
If you are interested in working with me 1:1 and explore the ways you are in relationship and change harmful patterns, please click the link below and request a free 30-minute consultation to see if we are a good fit.
If you would like to learn more about me and my work, you can check out my About page here.
Ways for us to connect
Gwynn Raimondi Writes on Insta*
Soothe Your Nervous System Card Deck
Wednesday Mid-Week Grounding Most Wednesdays I go live on Substack at Noon PST and offer some grounding and or somatic exercises for us to practice together. The recording is then posted and available for all paid subscribers to access at any time.
Individual Sessions (I currently have a few bi-weekly and weekly spots available and sliding scale options are also available. If you are interested in working with me, you can either dm me here, email me at raimondi dot gwynn at gmail dot com, or fill out the consultation request form found here (be sure to confirm the subscription!) to request a free 30-minute consultation to see if we are a good fit.) You can also learn more here.
Embodied Relating : (R)evolution. A 9-month group offering to learn new ways of being in the world, with each other, and ourselves through somatics, inner exploration, systems analysis, and community support. You can learn more here.
Tarot Readings Every month I offer four readings and they are given on a first come, first served basis. If you are interested in having a reading done by me, you can email me at raimondi dot gwynn at gmail dot com with Tarot/Oracle Request in the subject line and I will get back to you with questions and payment information. You can also learn more here.
Ancestral Healing & Journeying Work - (Re)Connecting to who we were before whiteness. Individual sessions to find reconnection with your ancesters, healing ancestral curses/processing ancestral trauma, and nourishing our ancestral strength and wisdom. If this kind of work interests you, I invite you to reach out so we can set up a 30-minute free consultation to discuss what this work could look like for you by emailing me at raimondi dot gwynn at gmail dot com with “Ancestral Connection Inquiry” in the subject line. You can also learn more here.
*Please note I am slowly moving away from social media. The best way to connect with me and my work is right here.