Connections, growth, & knowing
A short piece from the vault, updated for today...
I have a playlist I titled That Man and the first song is by Caro Emerald with that name and from the first time we met it reminded me of the person this playlist has been build upon. There are 284 songs in this playlist currently. Which added together is 14. This playlist expands and contracts and always it seems to settle on the number 14 somehow.
I had a dream months ago about him and the number 14 and he said it was his favorite number when I told him about it.
The 14th card in the Major Arcana is Temperance. It’s my Temperance year and theirs too. Both of us nearing the end of our Lovers decades.
There are other coincidences and similarities and I’ve said more than once I swear he is the younger, male version of me and that is both beautiful and scary.
We meet people. We don’t know them and they don’t know us and over time, if it feels right we can learn each other and if we are really paying attention we can learn ourselves even more too.
Sometimes we think we want a specific Thing but we don’t know how to get it and then we realize we actually want an Enhanced Variation of the Thing, not the actual Thing we thought at first. Sometimes we are presented with an opportunity to get that revised thing we thought we wanted and we’re like “uh nope” so then we’re left knowing ourselves a little more clearly and understanding our wanting a little more fully and being able to unravel what was given to or forced upon us but that isn’t really us or ours.
And maybe we want to tell That One Person all about it but we can’t because Reasons.
I was reminded today by a very reasonable grumpy old man who I love and adore that we can’t say we’re going to give a person space and then constantly poke them for attention. I told him to STFU. Because of course he was right.
And so sometimes we really do have to sit in our own stuff and really go deep into it and pull things apart and off us that aren’t ours and we don’t want but still we’ve been carrying them around for far too long.
None of this is easy or fun. And it’s necessary so we can be the people we want to be and show up in the ways we want to show up in our relationships and lives.
/../
Relationships end, and relationships begin. There are ebbs and flows, highs and lows, expansions and contractions. We don’t really know where life can take us or how we or our relationships will evolve. We don’t know how people change us until long after the fact and we can’t clearly see who we are now until we are able to look back with some perspective.
Sometimes we get second chances, or really, we always get second chances and sometimes we get second chances with the same person. It also true that we never meet the same person twice, not even in the same person. The more we are able to see people as they are, where they are at, the more we can see ourselves clearly too.
Distance may not have the heart growing fonder, but it can give needed perspective. Time is a construct, but its passing may be necessary so growth, healing, and evolution can occur. “Fate” isn’t real, but there does seem to be a higher karmic design at play more times than not.
Learning to listen to our own knowing, understanding that sometimes it is best for things to end and that it is time for (new) things to begin, doesn’t mean everything is always sunshine and unicorns. There is grief in the time lost, even when its necessary. There is bittersweetness at seeing what could be now but couldn’t have been then. It can be heart-wrenching and frustrating to acknowledge the ways we had to go apart, to fall apart, so we could come back together in more beautiful and authenic ways.
Life can throw us for a loop, and what matters is how we move through the loop. Can we accept now what we couldn’t then? Can we respond differently now, than we could then? Can we be (more) open to what needs to be, than we were then?
Time is a construct, but it can teach us much, if we are willing to unlearn and learn.
The first portion of this essay (above the /../) was originally published on Insta in March 2021. It has been revised and added to for publication today.
If you benefit from my writing and resources, I would greatly appreciate you considering a paid subscription for $7/month. The extra material paid subscribers recieve (the ability to comment on posts and have access to the full archive, which includes all posts over three months old) will be available once you become a paid subscriber and remains available for the lifetime of your subscription. (I want to have my work available for everyone who needs it and those who can’t afford it. For those who are able, your paid subscription allows me to keep this material available to all).
Ways for us to connect
Gwynn Raimondi Writes on Insta*
Soothe Your Nervous System Card Deck
Individual Sessions (I currently have a few bi-weekly spots available (sliding scale options are available for these spots). If you are interested in working with me, you can either dm me here or email me at raimondi dot gwynn at gmail dot com to request a free 30-minute consultation to see if we are a good fit.)
Tarot Readings Every month I offer four readings and they are given on a first come, first served basis. If you are interested in having a reading done by me, you can email me at raimondi dot gwynn at gmail dot com with Tarot/Oracle Request in the subject line and I will get back to you with questions and payment information.
Ancestral Healing & Journeying Work - (Re)Connecting to who we were before whiteness. Individual sessions to find reconnection with your ancesters, healing ancestral curses/processing ancestral trauma, and nourishing our ancestral strength and wisdom. If this kind of work interests you, I invite you to reach out so we can set up a 30-minute free consultation to discuss what this work could look like for you by emailing me at raimondi dot gwynn at gmail dot com with “Ancestral Connection Inquiry” in the subject line.
*Please note I am slowly moving away from social media. The best way to connect with me and my work is right here.
Recent essays on Embodied Relating:
Life is Strange : A Random List o Tings
Witchy Sh!t : Aries Solar Eclipse 2025 - Resources for your rituals and practices
Memes, images, poems, quotes
