Sometimes we find our wholeness in times when we are broken open. By this I mean, love is love is love, and love is eternal and steady and wild and stable and ever evolving and it exists whether we acknowledge it or not. Love wraps their tender strong arms around us and it is up to us to feel it, to acknowledge it, to embrace it back.
You gave me the sense of safeness needed to learn how to embody that love is not about possession or demands or expectations but about freedom. You brought what was in my head and soul and helped it spread throughout my muscles and sinew, weaving itself around my skin and organs, opening my eyes to the brightest of lights and the darkest of shadows. You gave me the space to love with an intensity I’ve never experienced and you let me run away and come back over and over, allowing my system to adapt and adjust to what was, what is, what will always be.
They say all relationships have conflict and I don’t know if I believe that to be true anymore. Maybe conflict is when we have our own unresolved trauma and are overwhelmed without proper support and we put expectations on another that they can’t meet, and the conflict is really within ourselves of what we want to be true versus reality. Maybe? Possibly? I don’t actually know. And I do know I have relationships, intense, deep, meaningful ones where there is no conflict, only love and acceptance. Which doesn’t mean there isn’t sometimes disappointment nor that we agree on everything and still we can sink and swim into the what is in that moment, in every moment, and allow that to be enough, to be significant, to open ourselves to being filled in so many delicious and surprising ways.
I knew that I loved you and finally admitted I was in love with you and then in a flash the bottom dropped out and the world turned upside down and now we are something different, but not by choice or intention, by life and another’s pain that had nothing to do with us but forced our bubble to burst and now here we are. And maybe this is where the real love is, in the cold harsh reality of transparency and honesty and exposing ourselves and opening ourselves to rejection,
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