What I want(ed)

"If she knew what she wants,

He'd be giving it to her;

If she knew what she needs,

He'd give her that too..."

~The Bangles

I have a playlist. Well I have many playlists. But there is one playlist I originally made about a man and us. Since there have been two more playlists made about particular men and our relationships.

They are living playlists until they no longer are, until the relationship is over and I can finally set the relationship down and put the playlist to rest, never listening to it again and eventually deleting.

They consist of love songs. Songs from movie soundtracks. Break up songs. Songs about freedom. Songs that describe me. Songs that describe them. Songs that describe how we were (or are), songs that describe how we weren't (or aren’t).

This Bangles song was on all these playlists except the current living one. Maybe because I’ve come to a sense of peace around wanting, knowing what I want, knowing what I don’t. Maybe because it just doesn’t fit me anymore or him or us…