SS :: Getting clear on your wants
First, a video recorded in 2016 for you to watch if you like.
Wanting.
To have a want means that a desire is not being currently met. Some of our wants may be misdirected, and so we learn to be mindful and curious and to dig into the root of our wanting, our needs and we open space for new and different ways of having our needs met.
When our wants are shoulds (or our shoulds are wants), we add a sense of heaviness to them. We know that we have a desire not being met, and we know we want this desire to be met, and we twist this want into a "should" because it is not acceptable to want in our culture. It is not acceptable to need in our current society. There is shame involved in wanting and needing, at the cultural level, that lives in our bones. And we need to dance with this shame and release it, accepting that wanting and needing is part of our human experience.
Shoulds are filled with shame too,
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