Sometimes we know

From the vaults (2022)

Sometimes we know. We know. We know.

And despite the knowing there is still fear. There is still trauma. There is still history that says something different.

But the past isn’t the present, except when it is.

The past doesn’t need to be repeated, except when it does.

Healing isn’t linear. I used to say the process looked like moving up and down, in and out a three dimensional spiral. Now I say it looks like a two year old’s furious crayon scribbles all over the table.

Life is strange, unpredictable. People are too. Except when it’s not. Except when they’re not,

I wanted happiness, so I started down this journey of shadow and trauma work, hoping I’d finally find it.

Instead I’ve found peace.

It’s a strange place to be in life. Where you no longer wrestle with your demons, but instead have tea, a joint, and listen to music with them.

It’s strange to still have those dives into the abyss and know in your core you will come back up and be able to breathe again.

It’s strange to have a small, tight …