It is the dichotomy of life that trauma is both created and resolved in relationship. Because trauma is created in relationship, it can be extra challenging to find our ways to healing and resolution, because our systems have been wired to not trust other people, that other humans aren’t safe, that we are alone and need to remain alone to stay “safe.” When we live in an activated survival state, our body and brain tell us all humans are dangerous and do not allow us the opportunity to be discerning and determine who is actually safe-enough (and who isn’t).
And.
As we learn ways to help reset and regulate our nervous system, connect to and reclaim our body and boundaries, and listen to the queues our body gives, we are given those opportunities to learn how to become discerning. To know who is safe enough and who is not.
Even as we learn to be discerning, there may still be parts of us that are unwilling to be open, vulnerable, or honest with another, or even with ourselves. We may find ourselves holding back, even as another invites us, over and over, to share (appropriate) parts of ourselves.
Part of learning to be in relationships that are nurturing and nourishing is learning how to
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