Rhythms, slowness, interconnections, and (social) change
Trauma, freeze, and speaking against harm
I’ve been in a bit of a quiet spell lately. Words haven’t been able to find me in the ways I want them to, so my writing has been limited at best, my communication with even my inner circle has been sparse, and I’ve been spending time, too much perhaps, trying to watch the kajillion shows and movies on all my streaming services “to watch” lists.
It’s not that I want to isolate or be silent, I have simply felt I didn’t have much new or interesting to say. Even I get bored of reading my writing about how fucked the world is, and there are voices out there who I believe need our attention far more than I do.
This is all part of my own natural rhythm and cycles. I have quiet times and I have loud prolific times. Over the last several years I’ve been able to allow myself to settle into these rhythms, to acknowledge, accept, and honor them. To stop trying to force words that either aren’t there or aren’t ready to come out. With the acceptance of my natural rhythm, I am also learning to allow my frustration and annoyance with it, to unravel more of my societal conditioning that I must be constantly producing, constantly productive, constantly “on” and charming and entertaining.
As we find our ways to calming our nervous systems, slowing down our automatic, instinctual reactions and turning them into thoughtful, intentional responses, we find deeper layers and previously hidden aspects of all we have internalized that isn’t ours, we unearth more and more opportunities to heal and shift and connect more intimately with ourselves, others, and the world.
I have found myself missing my besties something fierce, missing the trees and rivers that hold me, missing the intensity and sacredness of certain connections.
And.
In the slowing down, instead of rushing to remedy my longing, instead of diving into distractions that will ultimately not be helpful and could actually be harmful, I’m letting myself feel the grief and yearning. This is not fun, and it is a necessary part of being human.
Slowing down our auto reactions, be they to dissociate, lash out, project, or something else, gives us the opportunity to develop deeper intimacy by connecting to the parts of ourselves who are activated, helping them get their needs met, and heal. This greater intimacy with ourselves can also help us to be open to vulnerability (which leads to greater intimacy) with others, including our environment.
Intimacy, and the vulnerability required to achieve it, shows us how interconnected and interdependent we truly are. Harm being done to another, be that other animal, plant, air molecules, or water, IS being done to us too. The genocides occurring across the globe, are occurring within ourselves. The pain and suffering of others, is also ours.
Slowing down to feel all there is to feel is actually a major part of how we take these systems of harm down and create new systems that are truly co-creative, collaborative, nurturing, and nourishing for all of us, individually and collectively. Speaking out when we see harm being done to another, and feeling the grief, rage, and deep love that all come from witnessing and feeling, helps, even when we think it’s pointless. It lets those being harmed know we are seeing it and it helps the parts inside of us know we will stop harm in whatever ways we can and gives them a chance to heal.
Story time:
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