Revoking belonging

How cancel culture is a tool of the oppressor and why we need to find support for perpetrators of harm

The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. Audre Lorde’s words hold so much for us all to unpack, to consider, to see the ways in which we are still participating in harmful tactics of the oppressors while trying to work towards liberation.

One of the “master’s tools” most of us witness frequently is the ways cancel culture runs rampant on social media. So many jump on the bandwagon to be on the “right side” by causing greater harm to the target of the day. If we believe in acab or abolishing the prison system, we should not be ostracizing those who cause harm. If we believe in actual justice, we need to be able to hold the complexities, nuances, and contradictions of a situation. 

Punishment does not change harmful behavior - any modern parenting book worth anything will tell you this. Time outs, silent treatment, threats, and violence only cause more harm and trauma. It creates neural pathways that correlate fear and punishment with love, and it floods the brain and body with stress hormones. It causes harm to the developing brain and body. When we are sent away from the adults as children, our ancient survival brain kicks on and our fear of being eaten by wolves becomes “reality,” at least as far as our back brain is concerned. Being ostracized, even for a short period of time, is felt in the body as a death sentence. Because the reality is, if our ancient ancestors left a small child (or even a grown adult) alone or sent them away, they would likely be eaten by a wild animal that was wandering about.

As adults, we are often quick to jump to conclusions when people make mistakes. We are quick to judge, assume malicious intent and intentional actions. We take the side of the victim immediately, in an attempt at virtue signaling and not becoming a target ourselves, instead of being curious and hearing the side of the assumed perpetrator.

This applies to situations as mundane as a misunderstanding about what a person’s favorite food it to violent situations, and everything in between. We are so caught up with needing to be “right” and being on the “right side” that we don’t see how our own actions