Playing it safe

Sometimes we may find our selves going back to our past, not as a sense of nostalgia, but in a sense of this is easier. This is known. I know this space.

The space feels safe. Even if it is harmful for all involved. Even if it stunts our growth and our trauma processing. Even if we know the dynamics are not helpful to anyone.

This safeness is stagnancy. It is stuckness. It is going back and not going forward.

It is allowing ourselves to be stuck in generations old patterns and cycles. It is causing harm to ourselves and others.

When it comes to relationships, we make all kinds of excuses and tell ourselves all kinds of stories. "They've changed." "We're meant to be/destined/it's fate." "They are my soulmate/twin flame/insert some other bullshit term that encourages acceptance of dysfunction".

These narratives are our reasons, excuses, to stay stuck. To not do the hard work of breaking patterns and cycles. To not do the terrifying work of trying something (or someone) new, different. To not…