On consent, boundaries, & embodiment

A piece from 2017, revised for today

When we talk about consent, we also need to talk about boundaries. These two things go hand-in-hand. When we talk about our consent being disregarded we are also talking about our boundaries being crossed (and disregarded). When we give or deny our consent we are lowering or raising our boundaries with another.

And like consent, our boundaries can feel complex. However, I would argue that our boundaries are actually something that is very clear. The issue I believe that comes in is two fold :: 1. that we often assume our boundaries are static when they are in fact fluid and 2. that our disconnection from our body leads to a disconnection from our boundaries and knowing and understanding our boundaries.

When I say our boundaries are fluid, what I mean is that they are movable. For example one day or moment I may feel extra physical and want to be physically close to a friend or lover. Then on another day or in another moment I may not want to be physically close at all and want to be lef…