On being performative

Maturity, intelligence, and depth find their homes in us when we are able to be fully ourselves *without* putting on a performance to “prove” (to ourselves, others) how cool, radical, rebellious, healed, awesome, etc we are.

Social media is full of people seeking connection. That is not a bad thing, we are human, our species needs connection and companionship to survive. We evolved in community, our brains are literally wired to seek connection & belonging.

We all need connection.

The problem as I see it isn’t the need itself, rather the ways we try to obtain it.

When we seek connection by trying to prove our worth, our value, our deserving, we abandon our Self in the name of relationship. This self abandonment ultimately leads to rejection, if not in the now, definitely in the future. We can only maintain our masks for so long, constantly seeking external validation, allowing our younger, wounded parts to run the show instead of the matured, healing present self.

It saddens me to look bac…