Old patterns & younger parts

The constant ebb-flow of depression and anxiety can be exhausting. Frustrating. Overwhelming.

It can have us try to turn back to old coping behaviors, but many of us reach a place in our healing journey where those old behaviors no longer feel good or right or even work at all.

We can find ourselves flailing, trying to find ground, to find an anchor to tether ourselves to as we feel ourselves flying apart.

Our younger parts are mad. Our older parts are tired. There is grief, rage, wanting, desperation for something that never was, will never be.

As children we put our primary caregivers on pedestals. Those big people are gods and often we experienced their wrath. We learned to do everything we could to soothe them to keep ourselves safe, even though that was never meant to be our job.

How do you tell a four year old their dad is never going to love them in the ways they need? That he will never see them properly because of his own filtered, smudged glasses? Tha they will never get what the…