EWR :: 20. Learning to tolerate the present moment

Embodied Writing : Relating, Relationships, & Trauma series

Learning to tolerate discomfort, and specifically the discomfort of remaining present in relationship with another person, takes time and practice.  I highly recommend that you practice in small increments, and don't expect that you will be able to be 100% present 24/7 just because you decide you want to be.

In fact, I don't believe we can actually be fully present 24/7.  I believe we actually need time to "check out" or "zone out" to allow our brains to rest in the foreground and process quietly in the background.  Time for us to not be connecting with others and allow for solitude and silence.  Time to not be worrying about our environment, but to just sit in it and let ourselves and it be.

That said, taking this "check out" time when we are having an important conversation with someone, may not be the best choice.

Being present in relationship, with another person, can look like many things.  Some of the ways I have learned to be present: