I'm a highly introverted person. Many don't realize this when they first meet me because I am also incredibly social. But a truth is I need a good amount of recovery time after socializing or being around people in general. No matter how much I may love or care for a person, I simply can't spend 24/7 around them. I need the quiet of solitude so I can feel at peace with myself and then able to be social again.
For a long time, most of my life, I never asked for this solitude. It is true there were many times in my life when I didn't actually need to ask for it because of the people I was with (fellow introverts). It is also true there have been many times, especially after becoming a mother, when I desperately needed that space, that down time, and didn't ask for it, and so didn't get it.
That spaciousness is really about slowing down and recharging. It looks different for everyone. For some it is having some solitude, for others it is going on a camping trip with your best friends. It is a time of escape, of leaving the To Do List behind, of settling into who we are, into our own skin.
Our relationships need space and spaciousness too. All relationships have their own ebbs and flows of closeness and distance. This is natural.
And while it is natural, it can also make us anxious. When the other person needs space for whatever reasons, it can stir up our own feelings of abandonment or rejection (or both). Likewise, when we need our own space, the same can be stirred up for others. This can then create conflict which then breaks connection and creates distance between us (and ultimately feeds those narratives of abandonment and rejection).
Distance or distancing is different from space or spaciousness.
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