Asking for what we want. Most of us, from a very young age, learn that asking for what we want or need is A Bad Thing. A Selfish Thing. An Inappropriate Thing. We learned quickly to not state our wants or needs, at least not directly.
All those asks are stuck in our throats. The times we wanted seconds at the dinner table. The times we wanted the blue dress not the orange one. The times we needed to be held.
Because we were taught that asking for what we want or need isn't okay, we internalized a message that we ourselves are not okay. That we are too much. That asking for anything is proof we are too much.
It's not only asking for what we want that is not okay, either. The entire idea of wanting, desiring, anything beyond our very most basic of needs
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Embodied Relating to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.