Sometimes when we look back on past actions or behaviors, we may feel shame, regret, even disgust toward ourselves. It makes sense that when we act in a way that isn't congruent with who we want to be, who we aspire to be, that we feel disappointment in ourselves. But disappoint and regret are not the same as shame or disgust.
It is true that all of us have acted in ways we aren't proud of at various points in our lives. This is part of being human as well as part of what it means to live with trauma inside our body and being. Our brains are wired to react immediately to perceived threats. This is great when we are being attacked by a rapid dog. Not so great when we are having a disagreement with a friend about which 80s band was better.
Because our brains were developed in environments where we experienced abuse (and to be clear, neglect is abuse) and misattunement, our neural pathways are extra sensitive to perceived threats, our amygdala and limbic system are hyper vigilant, and our nervous systems are all sorts of heightened. None of this is our fault. This was done to us and is something we had absolutely no control over.
And.
It is also true that we are responsible for our actions as adults. Which means we are responsible for how we treat others and ourselves.
This gets tricky though, right? Our brains weren't wired when we were young in a way that allows us to slow down, self-regulate, engage our frontal lobe, and respond (as opposed to react) appropriately to activating situations.
So we need to learn tools to help us with this, so that we don't cause harm to others or ourselves. So we do not perpetuate the abuse and are not complicit in passing on inter-generational trauma. This course is one way to gain some of those tools.
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