ERETM3 :: 01. Unspoken Expectations, Assumptions, & Curiosity

Embodied Relating Exploring Trauma and how it impacts our relationships series

This week we'll explore the ideas of expectations and assumptions and how they can wreak havoc in our relationships.

(Unspoken) Expectations

From Google, the definition of expectation:

1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

2. a belief that someone will or should achieve something.

We generally enter into relationships, any relationship, with a lot of (often unspoken) expectations of how the relationship will be, how it will (or won't) progress, how the other person is "supposed" to be, what all our interactions are "supposed" to look like, etc.

Expectations are different from boundaries. Having boundaries that don't allow others to mistreat us isn't about having an expectation that others won't mistreat us - it is actually in knowing that at some point there will be harm of some kind, and this is what we will or will not tolerate and how we need or want repair to happen.

Expectations are different from plans. Plans are plans and we know they can change. We can…