Co-regulation, connection, community

I read once that flames are nature’s EMDR.  That the flickering movement of flame helps to reset out neuropathways and nervous system. The same is true when we look at a horizon for a period of time which may explain in part why we humans like watching sunsets and sunrises, it calms and soothes us in ways nothing else can. 

I started sleeping with a votive candle lit each night a few months ago and I have to say my sleep and dream quality have both improved immensely. I still wake in the middle of the night but I’m able to get back to sleep much quicker than ever before. 

Some might say watching flames or staring at horizons is a form of self-soothing, self-regulation, self-care.  Over the last several months, I have come to realize how the concept of “self” regulation is another lie we humans tell ourselves and each other to keep us separate, isolated, from each other and our environment. It is yet another way we try to claim our self importance and maintain a “natural order” of hierar…