Being in adult relationships

What we want, what we need

Adult relationships can be absolutely terrifying.

Relating to other humans, in a mature, integrated, mindful, self aware way is challenging, mostly because the majority of us never had this type of relating modeled to us when were young.

So we struggle and stumble.

Parts of us crave chaos although in our conscious, mature mind we want to stay far away from it.

In our conscious brain we know we want depth, intelligence, presence, softness, love without demands or expectations, with true freedom and connection.

Then when it shows up our younger protector parts freak the hell out and do all they can to make it go away.

It is a constant managing of our wounded child brain and our evolving adult brain.

We say we want someone who makes us want to be a better person, lovingly push us out of our comfort zone, but when they appear we realize how much work that actually is and get scared.

This is what I know to be true. For me. Now. And then.

I WANT someone who feels as safe as home should feel and who …