I am a hyper social person. I love spending time with my people and being out and around others. I’m also a very neurospicy person and need a lot of quiet solitude and downtime. These two parts of me often feel at odds.
A week of not usual appointments had me hating adulting more than normal last week.
Seeing how tired he was made me appreciate our time even more.
Time (and there never being enough of it) is a massive stressor and activates my anxiety in a major way. I know the roots of this, and still it runs deep and is challenging to unravel and dislodge.
We can want conflicting things. And at some point we likely have to make a choice as to which we want more or figure out a way to make both (all) things work.
The ease. It’s really everything.
Noticing the buried anger boiling up and also realizing how we are projecting it unfairly, gives us an opportunity to slow down and course correct before (too much) harm is done.
We all have our own natural rhythms of stillness and activity. The more we learn to lean into those rhythms, the more peace we find in our lives.
We all have insecurities. Managing them can at times feel like a full time job.
We are in May already. I truly have no idea where this year has gone. Also, see 4.
Realizing how we aren’t grasping for connection can be both a relief and feel very strange.
I thought I would miss the dopamine spikes. But I don’t. The smoothness of serotonin increases is something I didn’t think I’d enjoy or be content with, and yet here we are.
While in some ways age is a construct, in others it is a very real thing.
Some of my parts I don’t always understand. Particularly my Mean Girl in the Extreme part. She is brutal and brings up a lot of other parts I’d rather not deal with.
Doing something a bit outside our comfort zone and that feels extremely vulnerable, can sometimes become something that feels completely natural.
When one cat cries at the door when they leave, and the other two sleep on their spot, you can trust you found a good one.
Figuring out what our own boundaries actually are when we want more intimate connection and require clear autonomy can sometimes be somewhat complicated.
Putting a pause on things while you allow the unfolding gives space for it to take root as (or if) it needs.
Labels can sometimes be helpful, but more often than not they are actually limiting and don’t give the full picture of what is.
Not forcing an agenda or expectation gives space for what is meant to be.
I know this is probably an unpopular opinion, but I absolutely despise good morning and good night texts from (potential) lovers. They feel intrusive and like a trap to me. Unless you’re in my house, it’s not your business what time I go to bed and in the morning I don’t want to talk to anyone for a good six to ten hours. Those kinds of texts overwhelm me in the worst ways.
There is a difference between happiness and peace. One is a fleeting emotion while the other is a state of being.
There is a lot going on astrologically for me right now (so many transiting aspects happening to my natal chart). Knowing this helps me make sense of my moods, activations, and general overwhelm and exhaustion. Also lets me remember, this too shall pass.
Change can be unsettling, even if it’s a change we wanted or worked toward.
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Recent essays on Embodied Relating:
Being present in relationship : Revision of a short essay from April 2021
EWP 04 : Asking, wants, & pleasure - Embodied Writing Pleasure series
Trying to find words and inspiration : A Random List o TingsM
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